I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
