can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
