Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
