He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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