Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
