I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
