anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
