if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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