My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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