I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
