she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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