yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize