the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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