seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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