he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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