I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
