she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
