Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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