I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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