Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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