she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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