Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
