WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
