Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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