drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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