How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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