I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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