Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
