Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He did a backflip because drugs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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