is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
