you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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