i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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