So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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