sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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