I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
