Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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