We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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