Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
