i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
