Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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