bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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