I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
