Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
