Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
