Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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