How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
