We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
