I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
