oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
