I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
