whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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