the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize