what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
