dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
