So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
