we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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