Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
