We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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