I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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